Gibberish

There are so many reasons to love a flight, when you are forced to cut off from the outer world. And for now, another is that you are forced to get away from AI. Yet it is not everlasting. When the internet get accessible to every cabet, when starlink connect the world, the final pieces of peace will no longer be found.

I started to visit therapists. Nothing was really collapsing. Maybe there are just times when I need a friend; yet it isn’t something a friendship should bear. Forgive my English; writing in a second language leaves ambiguity, and maybe that’s a way to withdraw myself from me, and express more freely, though less accurately. Who knows.

It was wonderful to talk to my therapist. She is a wise lady. The first topic is how should we face goodbyes and farewells, though it’s not never ever, and, if blessed, reunion will be there. What does it mean? An end of a pattern, that our life, no matter long or short, enjoyes. I accept it as the cost we have to pay for a relationship that brought us happiness.

Another is the difference between reality and opinions. Quite fun, as it should be something used to be taught in the English class. Imaginations are good, but we should have the ability to first recognize it and then control it. It does not support us to be more healthy nor more self-consistent. We should find the ways that brings the authenticity. Respect truth, live not in the opinions but the present, as the present is the only place we could acquire safety. For the time, the space and the being being. Just like the classic saying, the past is the history and the future is the mystery. A practice is to use our senses. Try to tell what you’ve seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted. The senses are the only present for us. Be present. All we want is from our desire, yet why would you think all desires could be and should satisfied? Satisfaction is the grace of life, and regrets are the melody. There’s a lyric goes All I’ve possessed were fluke while all I’ve lost were life. Yet it seems, at least for me, it’s always easy to say so when it comes to victory, and just pretend to be humble, ‘It was just by luck lah’! Yet when it comes to losses, can we used the same tone to say ‘C’est la vie’? So hard. Yet all we should do is to notice, to feel the pain in sober. Don’t get drunk, my friend. Live in sober, live in pain. Only then we could get to separate ourselves. The pain is pain and me is me. We played a game. I took a long, deep breath, and held it, with eyes closed. The therapist asked me, ‘Is there any thoughts in your mind’? Answered no. “Exactly”, replied the therapist, “There’s nothing in your mind, but your mind knows that there’s nothing”. I know there is nothing. The ‘I’ that knows, is the subject of realization. The true spirit. Only by then will you know that, all the happiness and the sorrow and joy and lugubrious, are all just shows. Enjoy the show, but the show is not the real life. Don’t like the desire to push the objective to play the show of wants and losses, nor the show of gets and joys. The present is obesevable; the show is not.

Finally, I asked, “what about the farewells?”

“Take it, my friend. Change what you can change and take all you cannot.”

“And be present. ”